How to Know When it's Time to Go

How to Know When it's Time to Go

Over the past year or so, I’ve had to make some difficult decisions regarding how I’m spending my time–whether it’s my client work or volunteering efforts. In 2021, I ended client relationships and moved on from leadership positions, and those decisions weren’t easy. Back in 2020, I ended my passion project, which was also a tough call. Sometimes it can be extremely challenging to figure out whether an endeavor is serving you anymore. Is it time to move on? Should you stay? There’s no rulebook and it’s different for everyone!

That’s why I thought it might be helpful to transform some of my own experiences and feelings into a handy quiz for others who are in the same boat. This isn’t a definitive guide, it’s simply meant as a jumping off point.

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How ADHD Impacts Me as a Business Owner–For Better & For Worse

How ADHD Impacts Me as a Business Owner–For Better & For Worse

In October, I got diagnosed with ADHD. Learning about my ADHD has helped me understand how I function as a human and as a business owner. This learning process all started thanks to TikTok. I saw a video about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, a condition commonly comorbid with ADHD. "I don't have ADHD, but I definitely have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria!" I told my therapist excitedly.

"Oh Emily...you definitely DO have ADHD. I've been trying to tell you that, but I guess you weren't paying attention," she said.

Consider me roasted! I had to laugh. Once I started doing my research, it was shocking how many things suddenly made sense. ADHD has a huge impact on how I show up as a business owner–for better and for worse. If you have ADHD and are considering starting a business, but worry that your ADHD may be a barrier: this blog post is for you! For as much of a hassle as ADHD can be in some ways, it can also be a superpower.

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2021 in Books

2021 in Books

I’ll be honest, I’m relieved that 2021 is drawing to a close. For as much as we all talked about how horrible 2020 was, 2021 was a tough year too. Starting in January, I worked as a contact tracer for a few months while business was slow. My grandma died in late February and my mom in early April; afterwards I blogged about taking bereavement time as a freelancer.

When May rolled around, I celebrated two years running my own business and signed my biggest and most exciting client to date 🥳 Over the summer, I spent three months as Interim Executive Director of a nonprofit organization. In the fall, I reflected on my learnings from three years in therapy. I also walked away from a leadership position and dove into a new volunteer opportunity.

I recently recapped some of my most popular blog posts this year, so if you missed any along the way, you can find them here. In addition to writing this blog, I also dug in deep creatively and had nine of my short stories published in various literary magazines, which I’m so proud of! 2021 has been a whirlwind to say the least.

Through all of that chaos, emotion, and busyness, reading has been a source of comfort, distraction, and inspiration. I’m grateful for the books and authors who brought me joy and reflection in 2021.

Last year, I read 86 books and included 25 of them in my 2020 in Books blog post. This year, I’ve read 120 books to date; I’m sharing 35 of my favorites here. Interestingly, I read fewer novels this year--only 50. As a short story and memoir writer myself, I’ve been reaching for those more, and read nine short story collections, seven memoirs, and four graphic memoirs. As a trustee of the Monroe County Library System, I’ve been visiting all 32 libraries in the county, and along the way have grown interested in graphic novels and manga. I’ve read 11 manga and seven graphic novels this fall. I’ve also read 10 nonfiction books, eight poetry collections, and two children’s books.

Let’s get into it! Here’s my 2021 in books.

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Thoughts on Therapy: Year Three

Thoughts on Therapy: Year Three

On this blog, I always try to be authentic and honest, even as a business owner trying to market my services. For example, in the past I’ve blogged about ending my passion project due to burnout and how I handled taking bereavement time as a freelancer. I’ve even gotten extra-vulnerable and shared insights I gleaned from therapy, reflecting on both the one year and two year milestones. So today it’s time to dive into my thoughts on my third year of going to therapy!

Last year, I wrote about how the pandemic shifted us to Zoom therapy. Though it felt strange at first, in May 2021 I was finally able to resume in-person sessions with my therapist and it was wonderful! I had forgotten how much you lose in body language that’s just outside the Zoom screen, and how nice it is to sit in a safe and cozy space with a person who is dedicated to helping you process, unlearn, and grow. This year was a lot between my grandma’s death in late February and my mom’s in early April, so I had plenty to talk about in therapy. Here are a few of the takeaways.

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On Taking Bereavement Time as a Freelancer

On Taking Bereavement Time as a Freelancer

This topic is unusual for a business blog where I typically talk about marketing and social media strategy, but I thought it would be interesting to explore and helpful for other freelancers going through similar situations. In late February, my grandma passed away at 93 years old, and in early April, my mom died of cancer at 59 years old. Hell of a way to start the year! Not working at a traditional company where I could check in with HR and get standard bereavement time, I was uncertain about how I would navigate taking time off to grieve. Here are a few things that worked for me over the past few months:

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Why I Ended My Passion Project

Why I Ended My Passion Project

This month, I did something that I could not have envisioned doing at this time last year. After investing four and a half years into it, I finally decided to end my passion project, I Heart ROC. I will always value the relationships I built by interviewing my fellow Rochesterians and sharing their stories on the site. It was an incredible experience and I am so grateful for it.

So, why did I end it? That’s exactly what I want to share on the blog today. In our society, people are always launching side hustles or passion projects. There’s tons of pressure to monetize your hobby. Do you enjoy baking? Start a bakery! Like making candles at home? Sell them on Etsy! It seems like you can’t do something just for the sake of enjoying it anymore. When I googled “passion project,” I got 470 million results; “side hustle” got 67 million results. Articles like “50 ideas for a lucrative side hustle” and “14 reasons to start a passion project” are everywhere.

There’s an abundance of advice about why you should start a passion project, but no one talks about when to end a passion project. When I googled “end a passion project” the results were mostly things like “how to stop procrastinating on your passion project.” That’s why I thought it would be valuable to share why I ended my passion project. Maybe you’re in the same place I was and need some help deciding. I hope this is useful for you.

Here’s why I ended my passion project.

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Thoughts on Therapy: Year Two

Thoughts on Therapy: Year Two

It’s hard to believe, but I’ve been going to therapy for two years now. Last year I wrote about what I learned in my first year of therapy, and I thought it would be worth reflecting on what I learned in year two. Continuing on in therapy for a second year has allowed me to continue to build a relationship with my therapist and to go deeper on several topics, diving into things I don’t often think about unless given a push. This helps me keep learning, realizing things about myself, and growing. Thanks to therapy, I’m not stagnating and getting stuck in behaviors or thought patterns that don’t serve me.

Back in January, I never would have guessed how necessary therapy would become. With the COVID-19 pandemic sweeping through the world and shutting the U.S. down back in March, we rocketed off the course of normalcy. Zoom therapy became just another one of the many changes in my daily life. The switch to Zoom therapy hasn’t slowed us down or impeded our connection. I’ve been grateful to be able to continue my therapy throughout the pandemic, when stress and overwhelm is higher than ever.

So without further ado, here are a few things I’ve learned in year two of therapy.

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I Tried Not Reading for One Week. Here's What Happened.

I Tried Not Reading for One Week. Here's What Happened.

If you’ve visited the Serve Me the Sky Digital blog before, then you may already know: I love reading. I love reading so much that I read 118 books last year. I’m well aware that I can’t perpetually read more books, so I decided to cut back in 2020. Still, I never would have guessed that in 2020 I would take a week-long break from reading.

Following the recommendation of my therapist, I skeptically picked up a copy of The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. The book is a twelve-week course where you’re supposed to get in touch with your inner artist-child by journaling daily, doing a fun activity once/week (your “artist date”), and trying out recommended tasks that make you sit with your feelings. The whole way through, I’ve been doubtful that any of this will work. What would it even mean for it to “work”? I’m about five weeks in, but I’m plugging away.

One recommendation in a recent chapter stopped me in my tracks. “Engage in a week of reading deprivation.” I stared at the book aghast. I nearly threw it across the room. Excuse me? ME? Not read for a week?! It’s true that I’m an obsessive, habitual, voracious reader. But it’s also true that I’m extremely stubborn. So I decided to try it out.

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On Saying Goodbye to a Place You Love

On Saying Goodbye to a Place You Love

I recently had to say goodbye to a place I love: a little family cottage on Cayuga Lake that we’d enjoyed for eight summers. After seven years, the upkeep got to be too much for my parents, and they decided it was time to move on. When I found out via a Facebook post over the winter, I was crushed. I’ve never had the wind knocked out of me, but I imagine it would feel like this. I’d been getting ready for a yoga class and the post literally took the breath from my lungs. I sat down and cried.

It took several months for the cottage to sell, which allowed me to avoid reality for awhile. When my parents finally received an offer and it was time to clean the place out, reality sank in. I had to acknowledge that this was really happening. I knew our last weekend at the lake would be tough, but I had no idea how emotionally draining it would be.

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Thoughts on Therapy After One Year

Thoughts on Therapy After One Year

If you had asked me two years ago, or even 18 months ago, if I thought I’d ever go to therapy, my answer probably would have been, “Ew. No. Why would I go to therapy?”

For years, I believed you only went to therapy if there was something “wrong” with you. But at some point in 2018, my perspective started to shift. I noticed positive depictions of therapy on TV shows I love, like Crazy Ex Girlfriend and Bojack Horseman. Friends were talking about going to therapy. All of Twitter was abuzz with therapy chatter. If all these people were going, maybe it was...normal?

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