How to Apologize When Your Brand Messes Up
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This dog is very sorry
This post is co-written by Calvin Eaton and Emily Hessney Lynch
2020 has been a hell of a year. Between the ongoing pandemic and the fight for racial justice, there is a lot to be outraged about. For many consumers, that outrage comes out readily when a brand or business they love behaves badly. It creates disappointment, anger, disillusionment, and distrust. This holds especially true for small businesses that find themselves in the throws of being called out for toxic, harmful, and racist behavior. As businesses grapple with balancing how to hold itself accountable it is important to be mindful of what actions help and what actions hurt in the wake of a public call out. No matter what, no brand or business is above being held accountable for their actions and the first step should always be a sincere apology.
As a business owner, how can you apologize to your customers in an authentic and impactful way? What actions do you need to take to ensure things change and you make it right? Let’s explore that together.
When do you need to apologize?
How do you know it’s time to apologize? One of the quickest ways to realize it’s time for a public apology is when you start receiving an influx of impassioned comments on social media. Angry comments can be stressful to see, but they are real thoughts and feelings straight from your customers. If your followers are pointing out a problem, you need to apologize.
One common trap that brands fall prey to is not apologizing promptly enough. They take days to regroup, get their stories straight, and develop a strategy for what they’ll say. Deliberating for too long only allows the anger to grow. The sooner you can apologize, the better. Even if it’s making a preliminary statement indicating that the brand is sorry, and following up with more later, that’s better than waiting around and not addressing the issue head-on.
Don’t Do This
Deny wrongdoing and get defensive. This is often the first response people reach for. Of course you want to defend yourself and your brand! Criticisms can feel personal sometimes. But denying wrongdoing can hurt in the long run--it undermines the authenticity of your apology by failing to claim responsibility.
Insult the people involved. It should go without saying, but it doesn’t. If accusations come out about a brand, it can quickly devolve into a he said/she said. Re-litigating whatever happened, casting blame on the people involved, and being insulting doesn’t help the situation and only adds insult to injury.
Use words like “if” or “but.” This type of language avoids accountability. “I’m sorry if anyone was offended” is a common example of this. If you’re issuing an apology in the first place, people were clearly offended. Don’t put an “if” in there. It’s belittling. “But” can also complicate apologies. “I’m sorry that X, but Y” makes it seem like Y is more important than X. You’re getting back into defending yourself. It’s not helpful.
Expect it to go away because you want to ignore the issue. Sometimes this works, but not often. Address the problem if you want to genuinely resolve it. Take responsibility. Be clear about steps the company will take to improve and make those changes.
David Rose is not known for his great apologies / image from Pop TV
In season 6 of Schitt’s Creek, David “apologizes” to his sister Alexis by saying “I’m remorseful for an action I participated in.” Could he be any more passive and blame-avoidant? Don’t be like David! Here’s how to make your apologies better.
Do This Instead
The main thing you need to do? Be accountable for your actions and your role in what happened.
Accountability looks like letting the folks harmed and the community at large give their feedback. This includes the good and the bad. Do not silence voices virtually by blocking or deleting comments or getting rid of your social media page. Don’t disable comments. Other actions and behaviors to practice include:
Listen first. Listen deeply, from a place of genuine concern. Don’t listen from a place of formulating your response to each point they’re making. You can learn a lot from truly listening.
Respond, not react. Reactions come from a more emotional place--that defensiveness we mentioned earlier may come up. Responding comes later and requires more listening and thought.
Pause and take time to self reflect. While responding in a timely manner is important, it’s okay to take some time to reflect. Reacting from a place of anger is unhelpful. Think about your own reaction--why are you feeling angry and defensive? How are your customers feeling? Why are they reacting that way? Reflection is crucial to developing an appropriate response.
Own the mistake and don’t make excuses. A genuine apology includes acknowledgement of your responsibility for what went wrong and remorse for the pain it caused.
Explain how you will take action to make change. Can you make it right at this point? What actions can you take to make up for the harm caused? Your customers will be looking for concrete ways that you are addressing the situation. Platitudes aren’t enough.
Be prepared to follow up with updates. You need to make it clear what accountability measures will be put in to hold the company responsible. Explain what changes can happen immediately and what will take more time. Outline these steps for your audience. Remember, transparency goes a long way to restore trust.
Understand that you most likely will lose some customers. How many can depend on so many factors, including the severity of the infraction, but you’ll lose fewer customers by being honest and transparent rather than defensive and angry. Remember, everyone is watching, including future customers.
One recent example of a good apology comes from an individual, not a brand. App developer Adrian Jackson apologized for his use of the term “idiot.” In his apology, he broke down that 1) it was brought to his attention that the term was ableist, 2) he apologized sincerely, and 3) he explained the action he was taking moving forward--removing the term from his lexicon. There’s no defensiveness to be found!
A little bit of reflection and a whole lot of ownership go a long way toward making a meaningful apology to your community. Good luck to you business owners out there! You can do it.
For continued learning on this topic, check out “How to Apologize and Why It Matters” from Brene Brown’s podcast, Unlocking Us. For more marketing and branding insights, sign up for Emily’s unboring email newsletter; you can also keep learning and growing with an online class from 540WMain, Inc.
Calvin Eaton is the Founding Director of 540WMain Communiversity, a nonprofit online and community-based hub that provides accessible education and events promoting justice for all.
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